I’m going to offer up a few of the funny things my kids, especially my son, said over the last couple days (yes, there are always funny moments), so without further ado, I give you my first installment of Fobes Speak 101.
“Do you think she vominated?”
“What did you say?”
“Vominated, you know, in the toilet. Did she vominate?”
After running around all day, trying to put dinner together for myself and my son (my husband was working until 9), and going back and forth to my daughter’s room to check on her, this struck me as extremely funny, especially since he said it with such a serious expression. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing!
“You mean vomited? No, not yet.”
My daughter stumbled into the room just as I said this and she added this little tidbit:
“I’m going to take my temperature again because I think the nurse was wrong.”
Well, there’s no harm in that so I dug out one of the many thermometers we own-this one was an “under the arm” model. We positioned the thermometer and waited, but my son gave me more information about the nurse and her supplies.
“You mean the mercury thermometers.”
“I don’t know but it’s old and goes in your mouth for a long time.”
"Is she the same?"
“Is her degrees the same as yesterday?”
There it was again-humor at the most unlikely times, and the kid was total deadpan with his delivery! I grinned slightly but held my composure because this was an interesting question that deserved some sort of answer.
“If you mean does she have a fever, no she doesn’t.”
“Well, my stomach hurts sometimes.”
“It only hurts sometimes not all the time?”
“Well, it hurts only a little in some parts of the day, and then it hurts more in other parts later in the day.”
“Oh, I see,” not really, but I’m going with it. “But you didn’t get sick.”
Now here I must warn you that the conversation is about to take a bad turn, so those who don’t favor “potty” talk, move on ahead.
“Well, I had a couple bad poops today. They weren’t diarrhea or anything, just…” and he paused for dramatic affect, “really, bad poops.”