Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Fobes Speak 101

I wasn’t sure I would be able to post today-my daughter has had a stomach bug for the last couple days and I’ve got one of those headaches that won’t go away. (I am hoping it has nothing to do with a new storm that may be heading here late tonight, but I have a terrible feeling that it might…) Anyway, I started having “post withdraw” (a temporary condition associated with the lack of quality posting time and the inability to have my say) so I thought I would try a little humor this evening.

I’m going to offer up a few of the funny things my kids, especially my son, said over the last couple days (yes, there are always funny moments), so without further ado, I give you my first installment of Fobes Speak 101.

This is from my son when my daughter was in her room with stomach pains:

“Do you think she vominated?”
“What did you say?”
Vominated, you know, in the toilet. Did she vominate?”

After running around all day, trying to put dinner together for myself and my son (my husband was working until 9), and going back and forth to my daughter’s room to check on her, this struck me as extremely funny, especially since he said it with such a serious expression. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing!

“You mean vomited? No, not yet.”

My daughter stumbled into the room just as I said this and she added this little tidbit:

“I’m going to take my temperature again because I think the nurse was wrong.”

Well, there’s no harm in that so I dug out one of the many thermometers we own-this one was an “under the arm” model. We positioned the thermometer and waited, but my son gave me more information about the nurse and her supplies.

“You know mom, she has one of those old fashioned thermometers that go in your mouth.”
“You mean the mercury thermometers.”
“I don’t know but it’s old and goes in your mouth for a long time.”

The thermometer beeped and my son wanted answers.

"Is she the same?"

“Is her degrees the same as yesterday?”

There it was again-humor at the most unlikely times, and the kid was total deadpan with his delivery! I grinned slightly but held my composure because this was an interesting question that deserved some sort of answer.

“If you mean does she have a fever, no she doesn’t.”

Well, despite this fact, my daughter was soon in and out of the bathroom several times that evening, and I was finally able to eat dinner myself around 7:30 so I more than appreciated the small bits of humor my son was able to provide. Needless to say, my daughter stayed home today, and my son, being the clever boy that he is, decided that he should get this ailment as well. I made the mistake of asking him how he was feeling this evening and this is what I got:

“Well, my stomach hurts sometimes.”
“It only hurts sometimes not all the time?”
“Well, it hurts only a little in some parts of the day, and then it hurts more in other parts later in the day.”

“Oh, I see,” not really, but I’m going with it. “But you didn’t get sick.”

Now here I must warn you that the conversation is about to take a bad turn, so those who don’t favor “potty” talk, move on ahead.

“Well, I had a couple bad poops today. They weren’t diarrhea or anything, just…”
and he paused for dramatic affect, really, bad poops.”

Diarrhea is my son’s word for pretty much all of his bowel movements lately, so unless I have personal knowledge of a “bout” I don’t really worry about it. I decided to just nod my head in agreement so I wouldn’t be blessed with an in depth description of just what makes a “really bad poop,” and although this saved me from an explanation now, I can see this coming in the near future-lucky me!   Whoa, I just touched my nose-did my daughter get on this computer today?  Wish me luck...


  1. Ha! I'm rollin' on the floor! Kids are just hilarious!

  2. Susan, I love what you have to say. Unfortunately it's been somewhat hard for me to read your posts well because of the (very beautiful) background. I am wondering if others have experienced a difficulty or if it's just my computer. It's the first 3 or so words in each line...Wish I could fix this...

  3. ugh, I hope no one else gets sick! My son was sick for five days last week, he had the stomach bug for the second time!

    thanks for all the Garmin info!!

  4. Humor always makes the worst situations better :)
    Sorry your daughter is so ill. I really hope that you and the rest of your family dont get it. Keep a bottle of Clorox wipes with you at all times to wipe stuff down! ;)

  5. Your lids are funny. It's always nice that they can impart a bit of humor in a sticky situations, definitely makes it easier to deal with. I hope everyone is feeling better today.

    By the way, there's an award waiting for you on my blog. Congrats!

  6. Hope your daughter is starting to feel better. Thanks for the laugh tonight. Kids are always interesting when they describe their symptoms. My son's favorite line when he is sick, "I'm not sure how it's going to come out." Either way, I direct him to the bathroom. He usually will say this at the foot of my bed at 3 a.m.

  7. Your son sounds like a complete crack up! I love it. I hope your daughter is better soon and that your son's bad poops stop too:)

  8. hey funny lady! Sorry to hear about your sick kiddos! Hope everyone gets better!
    Your blog was recommended by someone at Connect MEme Monday...I am following now.

  9. Susan, I just hate it when I vominate!!!! Gosh I laughed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope her temp wasn't below zero like it has been up here in MN!

    Too funny and I hope the snow passes you.

  10. This is so funny, I love vominated!I think it should be in the dictionary, it's much more expressive! I'm glad your daughters degrees went down, and hope no one else's go up cause you know you can't trust those nurses and their old thermometers:)Good Luck!

  11. "Well, I had a couple bad poops today. They weren’t diarrhea or anything, just…” and he paused for dramatic affect, “really, bad poops." I think your son and I may be twins.

    Meantime, I really hope everyone in your house is feeling better soon! And no more snow. You've had quite enough of that!

  12. It's good that you can find the humor in a not-so-funny situation! Good luck with all the illness and really bad poops, I hope things get better for you!

  13. The things kids say are soooo funny!! I hope you and your son don't get the stomach bug too. I had one last Saturday and it NOT FUN!! Take care of yourself!

  14. Janie, you're right-I never know what my son's going to say.

    Alyssa, thanks for the heads up about the background. My site cannot be seen clearly if it is on the lowest screen resolution for your computer, or with a smart phone. (Every other resolution is fine, but that bugs me about the smart phone-I am working to fix this...)

    Molly, sorr to hear about your son being sick. Not fun, I know. Good luck with the Garmin purchase.

  15. Lyndsey, I have been washing my hands like crazy.

    September Mom, that line your son says is too funny!

    Clueless_Mama, Yes my son us unique.

    Kelly, thanks for coming by. I'm curious about your site.

    "Girl," Ooh, your temps are lower than here...

    MOPG, your right-vominated does sound better than the "correct" word.

    "Organic," I thought you might be related! LOL!

    Xenia, thanks for stopping by.

    Amo, So far so good...

  16. I like that--"vominate". Hope your daughter feels better soon and that you manage to escape that nasty bug.

    Thanks for stopping by Susan.

    Shelly at

  17. Shelly, I think we are through it now. Thank goodness!

  18. I missed this post!! And I am super glad that I went through your old posts!! I am just laughing and laughing over here Mwahahahaha I love how kids can make up their own dictionaries! Maybe we can make a book about that! :)


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