Wee Witty Wednesday

Why is it that when multiple things are going wrong humor is right around the corner? I know it’s only been a couple days since my last post, but I couldn’t resist sharing some of the witty that has happened in my life during the past 24 hours (and a little beyond that)-I hope it cheers you too!

Many of my anecdotes revolve around my son because he has been the focus of a lot of bad luck lately, and just about everything that comes out of his mouth these days cracks me up-his sister thinks he’s more weird than funny, but I disagree. Now remember, humor comes from sadness sometimes, and the first tale starts off a little sad…

My husband made a doctor’s appointment for my son about his foot “condition”, and he was the elected escort just in case things got ugly. Anyway, while my son sat on the examining table the doctor whispered, “I’m going to yank this scab off.” My husband nodded and held my son’s arms while the doctor gave the scab a couple tugs. My husband said that people outside the building probably heard my son’s screams. (Oh, did I mention that both my kids have very low thresholds when it comes to pain, and if a mere splinter can send them into convulsions, I know how loud he would have been screaming over this!) The good news is that the wicked wart is dead, but we still need to keep the area covered and apply antibacterial cream-now on to the funny finally.

My husband phoned me to say that my son was in good spirits, he survived the trauma, and that he was able to put weight on his foot-something he hasn’t done for a couple days. But as soon as my husband came home, in came my son walking like Igore, dragging his bad foot behind him, his arms clutching his chest, and he was moaning! My husband and I watched in silence as my son hobbled out of the room, and then we shared some silent belly laughter-you know the kind when you’re laughing but no sound comes out? Love that!

Now some more funnies from today:

My son, "I want to dress like a kipsie."
Me, "Like who?"
My daughter, "He calls hippies ‘kipsies’."
Me, "Do you even know what hippies are?"
My son, "Yea, they are the guys that say, ‘Yo, yo dog.’"
I’m cracking up while my daughter sternly corrects my son.
My daughter, "Those are rapsters."
Me, "Rappers."
My son and daughter, "Oh…"

WARNING, this next story involves potty humor, so if you’re not into this, skip down a couple paragraphs.

My son (yelling from the bathroom while we were at the dinner table), "Dad!"
Thank goodness he was yelling for his father!
My husband, "What?"
My son, "Come here!"
My husband, "Why?"
My son, "You have got to look at this!"

I am half disgusted and half cracking up as I look over at my husband.

My husband yells back, "It’s dinner time. Finish up and get in here."
My son, "Please! You have got to see the size of this."

Now when you live with boys you quickly realize how much this kind of thing fascinates them. I told my husband just to go so that my son could come back and eat, and this is the last of the conversation:

My husband yelling from the bathroom, "Holy cow! All right buddy! "
My son, "I told you."

My comment? I guess I must be the killer of all male bonding! Thank goodness I have a daughter to even out the testosterone in this household, although if you count our male dog, the scales are leaning slightly in their favor. (Maybe not since the dog is fixed, but my daughter and I better stake our claim around here, and do so fast!)

This one is a little older but still funny.

My son, "I talked to the maids at school today."
Me (More than a little confused), "There are maids at school? You mean custodians, right?"
My son, "No I don’t. You know, maids."

My daughter walks into the room so I ask her to translate for me. She talks to him and starts laughing-it’s pretty rare for her to be laughing at her brother’s antics.

My daughter, "He’s calling the aids at the school maids!"
My son just shrugs-nothing seems to faze him.

Then we have the times when my son repeats everything he hears, over and over throughout the day, like the commercial for a show called Adventure Time he saw on Cartoon Network. (I didn't know he was watching TV-he tends to slip into our family room when I am otherwise "indisposed"-like when I take a shower!)

Anyway, anytime anyone asked him a question, he would say: "I’m going to say something fun. Oh yea, I’m having a good time, oh yea, oh yea," and he did so using an Ed Sullivan like accent.  I thought it was cute-the first five times-but this went on for hours. I just waited it out, although my daughter was annoyed beyond belief. (By the way, she now thinks it’s funny-what gives?)

I have a couple more but it’s late and nobody ever sleeps in over here. Instead, I will leave you with this quote about sons:
"Boys are found everywhere -- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket," Alan Marshall Beck   Boy oh boy...
Goodnight everybody!