Just between friends

Shelly over at Tropical Mum recently passed me the Circle of Friends award, and to say I was tickled about it is an understatement. Okay, maybe I’m a bit late with this but I have really good excuses-just let me think a minute…um, broken ankle, remember? Anyway, the rules are that I am to list five things that make me happy, try to do one of them today, and then pass this on to five other bloggers who brighten my day, but I’m going to tweak this just a bit. Instead, I am going to share five exasperations over the course of the day, and hopefully I will give you and me a little chuckle.

I may or may not be the cool mom I think I am, and I came to this realization after a discussion with my daughter today. Here is an excerpt:

Me: Hey, hurry up so we can get to the pool early. (This is the first time I have done the pool thing in two weeks and I decided to brave the heat because the kids are driving me nuts.)

Daughter: Can you go to the pool with your crutches?

Me: Yes, I can go to the pool. I’m not going to get in but I can still take you. Why?

Daughter: It’s embarrassing.

Me: What’s embarrassing? (She just stared at me) Me? I embarrass you?

Daughter: It’s just that the last time we were at the mall I saw one of my friends. She’s not one of my best friends, but she is a friend, and she stared when you were walking with your crutches.

Okay, she's eleven going on sixteen, but still...

Me: Aw, so sorry my darling… I’ll limp 10 paces behind you when we get to the pool, okay? (Gee whiz, I thought big, black air casts were all the rage this summer!)

My son has started to repeat my name over and over again even if I answer him and I don't know why. Does he like the sound of my name or should I get his hearing checked? Today in the car went something like this:

My son: Mom?

Me: What?

My son: Mom?

Me (a little louder): What?

My son: Mom?

Me (louder still): What? What? What?

My son: Are you unbeatable until someone beats you up?

Me (huh?): Um, yes, I guess so. I think people would say that you were undefeated though and not unbeatable.

My son: Oh… 

(And then quiet. I don't know what is in his little mind right now, and I’m not sure I want to know.)

The kids have been taking turns helping get the dog out to do his business, but just in case someone should do it more than the other, my daughter is keeping a running tally on our big wipe off board in the kitchen. The thing is, even though it might be the other person’s turn, if said person is not around, there has been a problem. I can’t remember what I did yesterday let alone remember who took the dog out last so things got kind of sticky this afternoon right before we had to leave to take my daughter to practice.

Me (to my son): Can you take the dog out while your sister gets ready?

My son: But I took him out the last two times.
(Maybe he did, but I can’t remember…)

My daughter (shouting from the bathroom): No you didn’t. I took him out last.

My son: I did too. You weren't here yesterday when I did-you owe me two times.

My daughter: Well, you owe me two times from a couple days ago.

I blocked the rest of the conversation out, and by this time I am sitting very quietly in a darkened corner, hoping that someone takes the poor dog out. My son lost and finally took the dog out, but I don’t know if my daughter now owes him three times, or if mom is going to put a stop to this recording who does what business. My money is on mom...

I know that’s only three, but I thought I would end with the three things you should remember when you arrive at a pool with a bum ankle, so really that’s six…anyway here they are:

Never forget how low a beach chair actually is.
I knew my daughter would be the one who had to lug a chair around, so I told her to just grab one of the beach chairs-wrong! It took me nearly five minutes to figure out how I was going to sit my butt in that chair without killing myself, and I really can’t remember how I accomplished it-I think some kneeling was involved.

Just as in real estate, remember, location is everything.
I was a bit nervous about my kids being in the pool and me sitting out so I had my daughter set my chair on the pavement near the pool’s edge. I slowly baked from the heat, and people kept stepping over me, but after all the time it took to get in the seat, I wasn’t moving until it was time to go!

This last one is a three-fer (is that a word?)  Water is the best thirst quencher, people with broken ankles need both hands to walk, and hornets are not your friends.

Okay, I know I said I wasn’t moving until it was time to go, but it was nearly 2:00 and I was dying of thirst-remember the hot pavement? Anyway, with the help of my daughter, I managed to get out of the chair and I hobbled over to the snack bar to get something to drink. First of all, a normal person would have ordered water, but I think all the time in the sun bleached my brain because I ordered a root beer-in a cup. So here I am with my cup of root beer and it dawns on me-how the heck was I going to carry this? Thankfully I had been hanging around a friend of ours and she rushed over to help me carry it-that’s when I saw the hornets surrounding just about every picnic table available. And what do hornets just love on hot, sticky days? Well sugar of course, and a little bit of root beer will do nicely…

By the time I sat down to take a drink, I had one hornet on the lip of my cup, another on the straw, and a third on the big ice chip sticking out of the cup, and in my haste to get away from them, crutches went tumbling down and I had hopped (cup in hand) to the entrance of the ladies room-I had worked hard for this drink and if I got stung, so be it. I was drinking that root beer and the hornets weren’t. I got about half down before the hornets (and my friend) found me again, so agreed that they (the hornets I mean) could have what was left, and I chucked the remaining liquid refreshment into the nearest trash can. What a day.

Now it's time for me to pass this award on to five blogs that make me happy. Here are five ladies whose blogs I turn to again and again. Feel free to follow my lead or stick to the rules-it's up to you-but be sure to link your post back to Shelly.  Thanks ladies!

Septembermom at My Voice, My View
The Girl with the flour in her hair over at Peeling An Orange With A Screwdriver
Molly over at I'm a Sleeper Baker
Amo over at Where a woman shakes her tablecloth
And Mom of the Perpetually Grounded