Sunday, February 20, 2011

Past and Present

It's that time again, Mircrofiction Monday #71-this is where Susan, from Stony River challenges us to write a 140 character story (or less, including spacing and punctuation) based on the photo she posts. I should be doing work on the computer, but I took a short break to post my entry. This picture was haunting, but I didn't know it was a building still being used until I read Susan's description on her blog-somewhat unnerving, to say the least!

Anyway, I did both prose and poetry again, but my poem is sort of "out there"-I didn't want to do just a rhyming version of my first take... So here is this week's picture and my first story:


Our feet echoed in the grimy hallway-this had been our school, once teeming with life and promise, but now a hull holding only memories. (138 characters)

And here's my poem:

I look for you,
Knowing you're not there.
I call for you,
Refusing to care
That you are only,
In my mind,
Just a memory,
Love left behind.
(138 characters)

I want to thank all of you for your lovely comments, especially those encouraging me in the poetry realm. This was a challenge I gave myself, and I really enjoy it! I look forward to reading your takes this week too-would anyone see any humor in this? I wonder...

34 comments:

  1. I think the pic of the day spoke to a lot of us in similar ways -- old memories, old schools! You've got a great take for the day! Enjoy your week, Susan!

    Sylvia

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  2. I'm a sucker for prompted poetry (I did one for Saturday Centus) and this reads very well. I really enjoyed your take on the prompt.

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  3. Susan;

    Your poem was lovely like usual.
    So glad you like doing them for us.

    Your MF was just great. I think most of us can relate to that time in our life.

    Have a wonderful week.

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  4. Susan,
    I really like your poetry for this week's prompt. The school hallway is good one too!

    ~Jean

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  5. Your first story reminds me that you can never go back---and in both stories, just memories remain. I identify with the sentiments in your lovely, poignant poem.

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  6. Both your pieces are very nostaligic.

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  7. It is sad, seeing something--or someone--that was once so filled with life, becoming an empty hull. (sob)

    Poem was lovely.

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  8. Love it in poem form ... I'd say "Yes", we were thinking the same.
    Have a great week!

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  9. Loved your poem and take on the pic.

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  10. Excellent poem and micro as always :O)

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  11. Enjoyed both your offerings. The poem flows beautifully, and I love the use of "hull" in the first--nice imagery.

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  12. Hi Susan, you have good thoughts coming out of your µ-fiction story. The older we get the more of those kind of memories seem to pop up. The goes for both of yours today.
    Rue the day when we don't have those memories anymore!
    ..

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  13. Hi Susan,
    I am new to micro fiction and would like to give it a try. I enjoyed your poem as much as your micro fiction. I signed on to follow your blog. Please sign on mine http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com/

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  14. Prose and poetry? Overachieve much?

    Really great job!

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  15. Really, really like the second story-in-a-poem.

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  16. Both very strong emotionally. Good job! :O)

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  17. Could we call the Quiet Hallway "Memory Lane". Great one Susan, I think all of us in some form or another took a trip down' memory lane.

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  18. Well done... reminders of days past, and the need for letting go.

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  19. Enjoye both. Very nostalgic mood.

    My MM: Escape

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  20. Two wonderful takes on the prompt, Susan! Old memories evoke much emotion in us, don't they? I really enjoyed these reads...and thanks so much for stopping by my page.

    Lynette

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  21. I love both of your entries, Susan, but the first one is probably my favourite. I got a very boarding-school feeling from the photo myself.

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  22. 'a hull holding only memories' - lovely!
    I really enjoyed your poem - succinct and all-enfolding.

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  23. Thanks for visiting my blog, Susan. Both pieces are great. I see the picture from a different perspective now that I've read your prose. It's as though the school grieves for the children during the summer break.

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  24. Hi Susan, I am new to your blog. I am so impressed with both your MM and your poem, especially your poem. You DO HAVE TALENT! I think I best follow you so I can enjoy more of your poetry. Great job!

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  25. Both of these are terrific, Susan. I especially like your poetry.

    Thanks for the comment on mine. Hope your week is going well.

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  26. Both of your takes fit the picture perfectly. Lots of nostalgia this week. And I love your poem. Have a great week. Cheers~

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  27. Wonderful. High school memories and love left behind. Sigh.

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  28. 138 was definitely a magical number for you! Love 'teeming' & 'hull' in your first one and I can feel your poem. :> Yea, there was a lot of dark in this last week's round, but I suspect this week will be lighter!

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  29. I really liked your poem. Very melancholy feeling to it.

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