Thursday, February 3, 2011

Valentine's Day revisited

I am not a big Valentine’s Day fan, and I guess this dislike stems from the many times I was not in a relationship but had to endure those around me who were (I know you know what I mean...), but it goes further back than this.  In grade school, even though you were supposed to give Valentines to the whole class, the "cliques" decided that only their friends should get cards, so I didn’t really need a giant Valentine’s mailbox to carry cards home.  (Okay, here is where you're supposed to say, "Aw..."  )

In high school it was worse-student council sold carnations that you could send your sweetie, and they only knew it was you if they forked over another buck. The colors were red for "I love you", pink for "I have a crush on you," and white for "I like you as a friend." You can probably guess that I didn’t get many flowers from boys (I was a late bloomer of sorts), so my friends and I did what other girls did and sent flowers to each other-white of course, and maybe the occasional pink-just so we wouldn’t feel left out. College was better, but there were many times when a serious boyfriend was not in the picture.

Flash forward quite a few years-even though I have my sweetie, Valentine’s Day still comes back to bite me in the butt. The problem isn’t who my Valentine is, but what the heck do I get him? I used to buy all the gimmicky gifts, like kissing bears and other love themed items that Hallmark is famous for, but what do you do with the stuff after Valentine’s Day? I have several stuffed animals like a very cute gorilla hanging on a bar saying, "Let’s hang out!" but most are covering the top of our armoire in the bedroom. (My husband owns a pair of Valentine’s Day socks-yes I bought them for him-that play, "Let me be your sweetheart" every time he flexed his calf muscles-I know he still has them but they’re hidden deep in his sock drawer.)

Then I bought "sensible" gifts that my husband needed or wanted, like shirts, pants, and small power tools, but even though those gifts were nice, they weren’t what you would call romantic. So now it’s sort of a toss up for me (mostly sensible, sometimes not, and sometimes a little of both), and my husband has fallen back on flowers and possibly dinner out, and that’s all right with me. Is this what Valentine's Day is all about?  Maybe I’m still jaded by the past, and after 20 years of marriage maybe I'm less of a romantic, but I don't understand why we need a reason to do nice things for each other on just this one day.  Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the day and love flowers, but it just seems like a lot of needless pressure, and I like the "just because" types of gifts that come on an ordinary day the best.

Okay, I’m dying to know if you’re with me on this one, or am I totally not getting the whole "Valentine’s Day is for lovers" thing? Do you still give gifts on Valentine's Day, and if so, what do you get? 


  1. We don't do much either. Our anniversary is 2 weeks after. Mainly because being Very Young and my favorite color being red then, my wedding was planned for Valentines Day. But we weren't organized enough and had to move it. Now we just get each other some candy because we both like it : )

  2. We're so unromantic here. I think the last time we exchanged any Valentine's gifts it was the year that we got married: 1993. I'm lucky if we're both awake on the 14th for even a conversation. LOL.

  3. sometimes I feel like the holiday is forced. As long as I get chocolate, I'm happy.

    But as you mentioned high school and carnations...I'll never forget that in the 7th grade I was sent a carnation in class, and it had a mean card attached. It was from a boy who knew I had a crush on him, and it read "You know that I'm rich, and I know you're poor, so why don't you come to my house and wash my clothes." Holy cow, I never even told my husband that story. Talk about bullying.


  4. I'm so with you, Susan! I never received the carnations on Valentine's Day in high school either. I always hoped to from my crush but never did. My crush always crushed me. In the past for me, Valentine's was either a make your day or break your day holiday. Despite this, it was always my favorite holiday until I met my husband. Don't ask me why. Now I see it as completely unnecessary.

    I've been planning a post myself about not needing Valentine's Day to know my husband loves me. I don't know if I'll get it written or not but it's obvious we are totally on the same page about this topic. :)


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