Ah, it’s Saturday, a most treasured day to us working folks, and one that I set aside to do things with my family-I should be happy, but I am slightly irritated at the moment. The day started out well, even though I had to get up early to take my daughter to practice, and getting up early on a Saturday goes against everything I believe in.
A storm was brewingMy mood began to change the moment I decided to clean up around my house, so here I sit, a prepared list in my hands of all the things that really rankle my “rickles”(this is a word I made up when I get angry because it makes me laugh when I say it, and who can stay mad when they are laughing?)
So without further ado, I give you my “mother’s pet peeves list”-you might find we have some of these in common.
- Why am I the only person who can change the toilet paper roll?
This fact really puzzles me because everyone knows where the toilet paper is kept, and everyone was shown how to change the roll when it gets empty, but the actual act is never completed. There is either an empty cardboard roll left for the unaware discoverer-often me- or the new roll has made its way into the bathroom but hasn’t found its way onto the toilet paper holder. I have interrogated the natives around here, but no one seems to know the answer-or speak the same language, so the puzzle lives on, and I remain baffled.
- And speaking of bathrooms, why am I the only one who can clean the toilet bowl? Now I should mention that my husband saw a possible storm developing-I gave him “the look”- and he did clean the toilet today, but I can count the times he has done it in the past, and there aren’t many. I am trying to think back to our wedding vows, but I don’t recall saying anything about toilets. I mean there was the, “…to have and to hold, from this day forward,” but I don’t remember any, “ for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to clean the toilet so you don’t have to” part.
- And while we are on the subject of dirt itself, why am I the only one in the house who even sees the dirt? When last checked, both kids had 20/10 eyesight, and although my husband has started using bifocals to see close, there is nothing wrong with his distance vision. I mean the man can spot a deer in a brown field while driving, whereas the rest of us squint in the direction but see nothing. Is there such a thing as dirt blindness-similar to color blindness but those afflicted just couldn’t see the brown and green shades of mud and grass tracked in off the bottom of dirty sneakers? It would certainly explain a lot around here, and it would stop me from torturing myself with little tests to see how long anyone in my family notices a fuzz ball lying on the bathroom floor (my last test lasted a week, and that was because I just couldn’t stand it anymore and I picked the blasted thing up!)