Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sustantivo (Story) #57

It's that time again-microfiction time that is. Susan, over at Stony River, challenges us to look at a picture and write a story in 140 characters or less (including spaces and punctuation). Here is this week's picture, my story, and a couple poems because I enjoy a challenge...

Eduardo contemplated his next move; finding shade was a priority, but keeping an eye out for rattlers was second. A stick won't help much. (138 characters)

The sun,
Searing, scorching,
Burning my head and feet,
Until I look up and she’s there,
With me...
(Cinquain, 99 characters)

The air is so deep
It hurts to breathe.
The blazing sun
Has a hold on me
But I don’t have far to go,
I know,
I don’t have far to go.
(134 characters)

So what do you think? My husband asked me why I was doing this (I was struggling with my word count at the time), and my answer? Because it's fun-I love trying to come up with a unique account from just a picture, and you might too...


  1. This is fun! I could feel the sun's heat in these. I think I need some water. : )

  2. Susan;

    Gosh Susan, I love that you felt so inspired!
    I even wanted more, I'm greedy, I guess, for good writing!

  3. Men! They don't get it! The challenge! The chance to test our mettle! Your pieces are very good.

  4. You've done a terrific job with the pic of the day and it is fun, isn't it? You write and express yourself very well. I look forward to reading more of yours each week! And I hope you have a great week, Susan! Enjoy!


  5. It sounds like Eduardo spent most of his pesos on his cool duds instead of the rest of his pony ride...uh oh.

    I really like your cinquain--I can feel the heat and sense his vision of "her."

  6. I particularly like the ambiguity of "I don't have far to go," that is, is he close to his destination, or is he running out of time?

  7. I like them all, especially the second one - so poignant.

    My husband wondered what I was doing too! It is fun.

  8. Yes, warmed me right up!
    Seriously, you got a lot out of one picture. Very well done.
    -- K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

  9. I love these - each one so different in character even with the same inspiration. Well done!

  10. Hi Susan - All three are great, but I love the last one. I'm addicted to Microfiction Monday's, too!

  11. I like the 3rd one best! Very well done!

  12. Yep, it is fun, and you certainly got your money's worth out of today's prompt! Three for the price of one! LOL :)

  13. Well, I could have sworn I posted a comment here because of your husband's remark...but not seeing it, I will try again. For some reason, Blogger blogs do not cooperate with me. Wish everyone was on WordPress!

    I like both of your pieces, but the second one resonated the most. Sort of reminded me of The Road Not Taken.

  14. well well I have stumbled upon a poet
    I just loved the cadence of your poems and
    your line breaks..super
    and your poem that ends "she's there with me'

  15. Love the second. We're all gonna make it! :O)

  16. Susan, love them all! I especially enjoyed the cinquain. Moving and poignant.

  17. I enjoyed your MMs this week. And I'm like you--enjoy the challenge of editing my work to make it tight and tell a story quickly.
    Have a great week. Cheers!

  18. Hi Susan,

    I love the short story, you are another participant who has given our friend a name, it instantly makes him much more real.

    The poetry was great too, you obviously love a challenge and enjoy blogging, it can be very addictive, can't it?


  19. Poor Eduuardo seems to know his priorities, if it was me though I'd be watching for the Rattlesnakes first. I guess it's because I don't like snakes of any kind.

    I liked all three, Nicely done.

  20. quick get that man some water he's hallucinating ~ that's being in the desert for you ~
    all really good Susan loved them all
    have a great week

  21. Good cinquain, Susan. I wrote just one but these would be a nice way to say a lot with way less than 140 characters.

    I liked the sunstruck theme in both of them. The hot sun made each of them loonier than if there was a full moon! :)

  22. I like these--evocative and quirky. Good job, Susan!

  23. Great Job Susan!!!
    You Nailed em Baby....G

  24. I like each one of them
    I used to date a man named Eduardo, that brought back a smile

    I really love the last one, it's beautiful!!

  25. usan, you're going from strength to strength! Thanks for three great Microfictions (and two wonderful poems.)

    Have a great week.

  26. Covered all of the angles

    I'm on my other site
    my MFM is at


  27. enjoyed taking part and reading everybodies but loved commenting ~ had such fun
    have a great week

  28. The confined space does make this meme so much fun and your selections are wonderful.

  29. Your comment about the stick not helping much cracked me up! What do husbands know about blogging or anything relating to it?! NOTHING!

  30. yeah, husbands are clueless sometimes!

  31. I enjoyed these but the first one is my favourite.

  32. Thanks for coming a reading my Micro-fictions everybody. I love writing for an audience!


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