Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sustantivo (Story) #57



It's that time again-microfiction time that is. Susan, over at Stony River, challenges us to look at a picture and write a story in 140 characters or less (including spaces and punctuation). Here is this week's picture, my story, and a couple poems because I enjoy a challenge...



Eduardo contemplated his next move; finding shade was a priority, but keeping an eye out for rattlers was second. A stick won't help much. (138 characters)

The sun,
Searing, scorching,
Burning my head and feet,
Until I look up and she’s there,
With me...
(Cinquain, 99 characters)



The air is so deep
It hurts to breathe.
The blazing sun
Has a hold on me
But I don’t have far to go,
I know,
I don’t have far to go.
(134 characters)

So what do you think? My husband asked me why I was doing this (I was struggling with my word count at the time), and my answer? Because it's fun-I love trying to come up with a unique account from just a picture, and you might too...

35 comments:

  1. This is fun! I could feel the sun's heat in these. I think I need some water. : )

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  2. Susan;

    Gosh Susan, I love that you felt so inspired!
    I even wanted more, I'm greedy, I guess, for good writing!

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  3. Men! They don't get it! The challenge! The chance to test our mettle! Your pieces are very good.

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  4. You've done a terrific job with the pic of the day and it is fun, isn't it? You write and express yourself very well. I look forward to reading more of yours each week! And I hope you have a great week, Susan! Enjoy!

    Sylvia

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  5. It sounds like Eduardo spent most of his pesos on his cool duds instead of the rest of his pony ride...uh oh.

    I really like your cinquain--I can feel the heat and sense his vision of "her."

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  6. I particularly like the ambiguity of "I don't have far to go," that is, is he close to his destination, or is he running out of time?

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  7. I like them all, especially the second one - so poignant.

    My husband wondered what I was doing too! It is fun.

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  8. Yes, warmed me right up!
    Seriously, you got a lot out of one picture. Very well done.
    -- K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  9. I love these - each one so different in character even with the same inspiration. Well done!

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  10. Hi Susan - All three are great, but I love the last one. I'm addicted to Microfiction Monday's, too!

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  11. I like the 3rd one best! Very well done!

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  12. Yep, it is fun, and you certainly got your money's worth out of today's prompt! Three for the price of one! LOL :)

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  13. Well, I could have sworn I posted a comment here because of your husband's remark...but not seeing it, I will try again. For some reason, Blogger blogs do not cooperate with me. Wish everyone was on WordPress!

    I like both of your pieces, but the second one resonated the most. Sort of reminded me of The Road Not Taken.

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  14. well well I have stumbled upon a poet
    I just loved the cadence of your poems and
    your line breaks..super
    and your poem that ends "she's there with me'
    yes

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  15. Love the second. We're all gonna make it! :O)

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  16. Susan, love them all! I especially enjoyed the cinquain. Moving and poignant.

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  17. I enjoyed your MMs this week. And I'm like you--enjoy the challenge of editing my work to make it tight and tell a story quickly.
    Have a great week. Cheers!

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  18. Hi Susan,

    I love the short story, you are another participant who has given our friend a name, it instantly makes him much more real.

    The poetry was great too, you obviously love a challenge and enjoy blogging, it can be very addictive, can't it?

    Yvonne

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  19. Poor Eduuardo seems to know his priorities, if it was me though I'd be watching for the Rattlesnakes first. I guess it's because I don't like snakes of any kind.

    I liked all three, Nicely done.

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  20. quick get that man some water he's hallucinating ~ that's being in the desert for you ~
    all really good Susan loved them all
    have a great week
    Lib

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  21. Good cinquain, Susan. I wrote just one but these would be a nice way to say a lot with way less than 140 characters.

    I liked the sunstruck theme in both of them. The hot sun made each of them loonier than if there was a full moon! :)
    ..

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  22. I like these--evocative and quirky. Good job, Susan!

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  23. Great Job Susan!!!
    You Nailed em Baby....G

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  24. I like each one of them
    I used to date a man named Eduardo, that brought back a smile

    I really love the last one, it's beautiful!!

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  25. usan, you're going from strength to strength! Thanks for three great Microfictions (and two wonderful poems.)

    Have a great week.

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  26. Covered all of the angles

    I'm on my other site
    my MFM is at http://moondustwriter.com

    Smiles

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  27. enjoyed taking part and reading everybodies but loved commenting ~ had such fun
    have a great week
    lib

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  28. The confined space does make this meme so much fun and your selections are wonderful.

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  29. Your comment about the stick not helping much cracked me up! What do husbands know about blogging or anything relating to it?! NOTHING!

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  30. yeah, husbands are clueless sometimes!

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  31. I enjoyed these but the first one is my favourite.

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  32. Thanks for coming a reading my Micro-fictions everybody. I love writing for an audience!

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